Will Poop For Jellybeans
My daughter pooped in her little potty last night!! She saw some jellybeans on my desk and said "ooooh, mommy...what DAT from?" I struck a deal, candy for poop, and she delivered!
The terrible twos are upon us. I took her to a children's museum today. Everything started to go downhill after about an hour. Our excursion ended with me carrying a screaming, punching, and kicking mini-beast back to our car.
If anybody can offer advice on this issue, I'd really appreciate it. When presented with a question or situation, she'll change her mind back and forth like a crazy person. Example: She asks for a cup, I give it to her. Then she screams no and gives me the cup. Then she screams to have it back, then for me to take it again, and so on. She has these episodes a couple of times per day. She's totally irrational. I tell myself that she can't help it because her little brain isn't developed yet, but it gets to me. I sometimes want to pack her a little hobo stick-bundle and show her the door.
The terrible twos are upon us. I took her to a children's museum today. Everything started to go downhill after about an hour. Our excursion ended with me carrying a screaming, punching, and kicking mini-beast back to our car.
If anybody can offer advice on this issue, I'd really appreciate it. When presented with a question or situation, she'll change her mind back and forth like a crazy person. Example: She asks for a cup, I give it to her. Then she screams no and gives me the cup. Then she screams to have it back, then for me to take it again, and so on. She has these episodes a couple of times per day. She's totally irrational. I tell myself that she can't help it because her little brain isn't developed yet, but it gets to me. I sometimes want to pack her a little hobo stick-bundle and show her the door.
posted by Krystie Lee at
11:52 AM
25 Comments:
I have 3 little boys - the youngest will be 3 on Saturday. I tell them all the time I'm going to sell them to the gypsies, which precipitates a long conversation about what gypsies are, exactly. I've been reading an awesome book lately called Parenting is Heart Work. It's about getting at the heart issues that cause our kids to misbehave. I'm not completely through it yet, but so far it's been awesome! I highly recommend it. Good luck!
I totally know what you are going through. We tried the whole "food for poop" thing with Mikayla and she quickly figured out that all she had to do was go on the potty when she wanted a treat. However, she wouldn't go all the time. I would hear her go #1 and then, "Mama! I went potty! I'll take a red Life Favor (love how she says that, BTW), please!"
She also started pitching fits and it got so frustrating. Cullen thought I was losing my mind and would laugh at the stories I told him. Until he had to deal with it one day. "What do you want for breakfast?" "Pancakes." "Here are your pancakes." "NOOOOOOOOOO! No pancakes (my addition: you dumb, idiot)!" "Fine, give 'em here." "No." Cullen then takes the pancakes and she throws herself on the floor screaming and crying because she wants pancakes. Seriosuly? WTF?
When we have a tantrum coming now, we either walk away (she likes the audience) and she stops pretty quickly. OR, we make her sit in her quiet chair (different than her time out chair) and she has to sit there until she stops whining or crying. Usually takes less than a minute.
Whatever you do, GOOD LUCK!
Courtney
P.S. Congrats, BTW, you Dirty Girl! It was enough to make me finally get a fan club membership.
Britiney- If you find a good family of gypsies, keep their number for me. :) Thanks for the book recommendation, I'll check it out!
Courtney- Hi!!! Nice to hear from you! Thanks for the congrats on the dirty dozen! It's been crazy and exciting. Thanks for sharing your stories about Mikayla, it makes me feel better that it's not just my kid. Life Flavor cracks me up!!
Hang in there! She is just trying to make sense of her world and exert what little control she has. My only advice is to not give into everything. My littlest (3) has that independent spirit and sometimes if he is being unreasonable I have to just walk away and let him have this moment. I can't change who he is but I can let him know that it won't work on me! I applaud you for walking out of the museum....I think that is the best thing you could have done! I think the 2s & 3s prepare use for the teenage years. My preteen boy acts just like his little brother sometimes ;-)
Every age is a challenge mo matter what. My eleven year old daughter is going through the Miss Drama Queen phase. I miss her being 2 I'd so love her to be 2 again. I'd rather deal with tantrums over attitude any day. When they are 2 after a tantrum they curl on your lap and love you again. When they are 11 they are less willing to show you signs of affection. Oh well you still gotta love them! LOL!!!! ;)
This too shall pass. I'm LOL about the hobo bundle. That is so funny. My kids are 9 and 6 1/2. I'm telling you the consistency back then has made life much easier now. But it was rough. Hang in there - she'll get better. (and then she'll roll her eyes at you, LOL)
I feel for you Krystie! It's reassuring to know that someone else is going through the same thing I am. I'll have to check out that book too.
Congrats on the potty training! That is HUGE. We use "yemmy-yums" - M&Ms. It worked for my son, so I'm hoping it works for G as well.
10 minute lapse...
Nice. As I was writing this, G ran over to tell me she pooped on the rug, so I had to go do some clean-up. Sigh.
That's great that she did #2 on the potty. My youngest did potty training for #1 like it was nothing, but had a problem with #2. He wouldn't go! After not going not going for almost 2 days, I got worried. So I put a diaper on him to see what would happen. He hid behind the rocker and pooped his little brains out. That happened a few more times until he "got it."
As for the tantrum thing, you have to stay stronger than her...and 2 year olds have a lot of stamina. I used to give my kids only 2 choices (they can't handle more). If they couldn't make up their minds (doing that I want it - I don't want it - now I want it again thing) or tried to throw a fit because what I was offering wasn't what they wanted, they lost their opportnity to make a choice and I picked for them. You know whatever I picked is the thing they didn't want! I held my ground and would NOT give in. After a little bit of that they learned to make up their mind and stick with it.
Debbie
Thanks for the responses! It's always nice to hear that others are going through the same thing. I'll take your advice and stay strong and be consistent.
Angie- LOL! sorry about the rug! She's peed for M&Ms in the past, but she's way more into the jelly beans. I'm sure the dentist won't approve. :) Nice to hear from you!
yup! I remember those days. UGH! think....alcohol!! ;)
no really, she is testing you, and playing games with you. And she's a girl, you what they grow into, right?
Good Luck, you will need it!!!
Hang in there, Krystie! It will get better..then it will get worse!
No really, my 3rd is about to strat potty training so I'll be right there with you!
Whatever works!
Ahhh, so you had poop-enticing jelly beans with your smoked scallops...I dare say they may work.
My niece turns two this week. I can see that burgeoning personality and it is both exciting and scary.
I have no children so I can offer no advice, unfortunately. However, my ex, Boss, liked to change her mind frequently - but she could get her own cups...so, again, I am no help.
It was so hard for me to handle the 2's when my children were that age, but now I'm a preschool teacher and I teach 2's and I can see plain as day, the difference between 2 and 3 year olds. My only advice is to maintain your rules and be consitent. It's hard to ride out a tantrum, but don't give in to it. Just ignore the screaming and she'll move on to something else. Also, it's so important to maintain a schedule for meals and bedtime. Once she turns three or around that time, she'll come around. Three's aren't perfect, but I think they are a little easier than the two's. Good luck!
Congratulations. You are the mother of a strong-willed spirit. You and your husband are going to have to join forces and both be consistent in the discipline she needs. She is testing her boundaries so stand your ground. Do not give in. I am from the old school where a well placed swat on the bottom worked wonders--in done in love, not abuse, and done consistently. You don't have to give her any choices. Just put the cup in front of her. You are the parent and know what is best for her--don't second guess yourself. Let her make choices on things that aren't big issues--like what color shirt or outfit she would like. Pray daily for her and for yourself to have the patience and consistency to do the right thing. God's help is the only way to raise a child into a well adjusted adult.
Ah, the 2's! I've got a 4 year old and a 2 year old and it hasn't gotten any better with time. The only advise I can give is when it's bad, lock yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes and just breathe! Time outs for mommy are good therapy. Congrats on the pooping on the potty though, that's awesome! :)
I don't know why nobody has told you to do the most obvious thing you can do! Just ship her off to Grandma's for a year or so! I figure that is what I will have to do with AJ in a few months! LOL
Or you can just drop her off for a couple extra hours at your friendly neighborhood daycare to get the cuteness factor back! Hee Hee!
Speaking of which I better to get in the shower....
After years of my own kids, and doing daycare for a few years. The advice I have for you is this, dont get sucked in to the madness. When she starts acting like that remove her from the situation and act like nothing ever happend. She will figure it out, she is a smart girl. I think more often the drama is more for a reaction then any thing else, and when you stop all reactions the drama stops. Good luck.. Angie
I am the mother of 4 and 2 of them are 2 years old. My only advice- is count the days until she turns 3!!! My girls are the same way about asking for something and then changing their minds. And potty training only makes their attitudes that much more appealing! Good luck!
I recommend a couple of stiff drinks.
One for you, and one for her.
And duct tape.
My two year old occasionally does similar, but thankfully, not very often and it tends not to last too long.
I hope it gets better for you soon.
*sigh*
Been there, done that... 4 times over now. LOL Just remain strong and don't play her games - it will only reaffirm to her that mommy is manipulatable and that if she just keeps it up, she'll eventually wear mommy down and get her way. LOL It's the most difficult thing about parenting (IMO), but your consistency is absolutely paramount.
"This, too, shall pass" (no pun intended). So good luck and just hang in there, Krystie. They aren't two for very long! Soon enough, they grown up and become pre-teens... wanna talk DIFFICULT?! LOL
Whenever my (recently turned) 3 year old has 'a moment', I just roll my eyes and tell her, "It's a good thing you're so darn cute..." LOL ;)
Lots of good advice here...Just wanted to stop by and tell you that you are the SWEETEST gal ever and I am so excited to actually meet soon! :-)
OMg!, Kristie I can relate. I'm sure anyone with kids can. I'd like to tell you it is just a phase, but my 6yr old still has issues with making decisions. Just the other day he wanted to wear these sweat pants to school on picture day. I kindly and calmly told him I would like him to wear something different on picture day. He said he wanted to keep on wearing what he had on. I'm not kidding you, the minute we were walking out the door to catch the bus, he changed his mind and NEEDED (in his whiney, crying voice) to go change. We almost missed the bus. So, I guess my advice to you is that you are not alone in dealing with this.
Seriously, have lots of patience and remember while the decision she is trying to make is of little importance to you (like which kind of cereal to have) it means everything to her at the moment. Walking away is often the best way to handle it.
I am so sorry to say this but three is worse. My two year old boy does exactly this as well. Want a banna (banana)...okay here, and I start to peel..NO! I DO IT! Okay ok, then he peels and the top of the banana breaks off...now it's all over. IT'S BROKEN-DON WAN IT! I just try to ignore him and then he calms down within a few minutes. Then he will usually ask for his banana and eat it without much ado. But it's pretty much drama, everyday. Lets not even go into when he touches my 4 year olds toys...
great title for the post! don't have kids yet, so I have no idea, you'll have to tell me what works!
Shame, just reading about this brings back so many memories! Swoop & Scoop. Just pick her up, and take her away from the audience. Any method like this will work, as long as you are consistent. She will 'get it' soon enough. Staying very calm is your best tool along with consistency. And, the best thing is that no 2 year old is bigger than an adult, so you have size on your side. Use it when you have to and remove that kicking screaming bundle of joy before it gets REALLY nasty! You sound like you have it all pretty well wrapped up tho - keep on giving the jellybeans, 'cos one day, she WILL forget to ask for one. I've got three boys, and did the same thing, and kicked myself for offering candy, but they do forget, and it sure doesn't take long. Enjoy these trials - they are just character training!! LOL.
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